Category Archives: Dear Gabi Advice Column

advice column dealing with the emotional struggles felt by crossdressers and their loved ones

Dear Gabi Advice Column, mental health

Dear Gabi, What Should I Expect From Therapy?

12 Comments

Dear Gabi,

I have just approached a therapist about some sessions as I feel my crossdressing is starting to effect my relationship. My girlfriend is understanding in a way but is still not overly keen.

It is just me who will be attending, as we both feel there are issues I need to address which could all be linked. Short temper for no apparent reason like I get really mad about the most silly things. My girlfriend thinks it’s always before I need to dress. She does not want to see me dressed though. I think I need to get a good understanding of why I need to dress other than “I love that dress!!”. I feel I’m rambling on a bit so apologies for that. I don’t wish for it to go any further than our home but I don’t want to always be alone when dressed but not sure she will ever want to get involved.

I just wondered what is the main objective of this type of therapy. I am nervous and not sure what to expect.

Best regards,

Tina
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Dear Gabi Advice Column

Dear Gabi, My Wife Says One of Us Has to Move Out

23 Comments

Dear Gabi,

My wife just found out I am a cross dresser (I have been as long as I can remember…), and reacted very badly. I don’t know where else to turn… none of my friends would understand, and I still think most of them would not speak to me again if I told them…

My beautiful, brilliant wife, the love of my life, and the only person I would ever want to spend my life with, has told me she would have stopped dating me if she knew I was a crossdresser, and has told me she will never be able to deal with me being a crossdresser… she has done the research, she understands I am hetero, and not gender confused, but she says she just cannot deal with me being a crossdresser… she has told me that one of us has to move out, that she will not change her mind, and that she will never be okay with this…

I have a beautiful family, and I don’t want my son and daughters growing up in a broken home! But I don’t know what to do, I don’t know what to say to make it better, to make her understand I am still the same person!

You have already been so much more help than I could ever have expected, and I don’t even know what I am asking you for… There is no magic word or phrase that will make this all okay, I know that… I guess it just hurts so much and I needed to vent and I just don’t have any other place to go… This is just so hard, and I don’t know what to do…

Nora
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Dear Gabi Advice Column, tips and advice

Dear Gabi, My Wife Thinks Crossdressing is Wrong

20 Comments

Dear Gabi,

How best to handle it with my wife is my biggest concern. In the past I had felt that crossdressing was wrong and therefore had purged my collection several times. Now for me personally, I am comfortable with it. I had been trying to decide how to talk with my wife about it when she discovered.

Since then she has expressed the viewpoint/belief that (A) per the Bible and society crossdressing is bad and wrong. Absolutely no wavering on this so far. (B) She also believes that it is something that if you try hard enough you can stop doing it.. She has also stated from watching Jerry Springer show that all crossdressers will become gay at first and then that leads to all getting a sex change operation. For the most part she presents to me as these being absolutes.

She has also remarked that now all she can think of me as is Georgette whether it is just kissing or anything else. She also feels that if she would of given me sex more often then I would not want to cross dress. I have/had a web blog where I was journaling/logging my experiences. She wants me to get rid of that to. Currently I am doing that.

In addition to all this, I feel like she wants me to make all these changes and stop dressing and because she says it is wrong.

Yet at the same she does not what to consider or accept any offers for compromise.

Thank you,

Georgette
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Dear Gabi Advice Column, mental health

Dear Gabi, Discovered by Wife… HELP!

4 Comments

Dear Gabi,

Thanks for your page, I will be back to visit. I have dressed off/on since 5 years old. In an off phase went dated and married.

Had gotten back into and understand and accept now that it is part of me and great stress relief. Almost cost me my job due to poor reaction to stress.

I was trying to decide how to talk with my wife about it and left a journal site open. Now she knows before I was quite ready. I have seen your How to Tell Your Wife You’re a Crossdresser page but am looking for any other help tips there might be. If you have any, thanks.

I haven’t looked at everything here but your en femme pictures are awesome, you make very nice looking woman. If I can get half as cute as you I will be happy.

Good luck and enjoy in the future.

Sincerely,

Georgette
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Dear Gabi Advice Column

Dear Gabi, Should I Tell My Parents I’m a Crossdresser?

6 Comments

Dear Gabi,

I am a crossdresser and I am really anxious about my parents finding out. Should I tell them or just keep hiding it?

Anonymous

 

 
Gabrielle HermosaDear Anonymous,

Deciding whether to tell your parents about being a crossdresser or keeping it a secret can be a tough call. The anxiety felt in being discovered is very understandable – I was once there myself.

What is right for one, may not be for another and this is a decision that you must make for yourself. In the end, telling your parents will probably work out much better for you than being discovered or caught by them.

There are many things to consider before discussing with your parents. I suggest you give serious thought to the following:
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Dear Gabi Advice Column

Dear Gabi, I’m Having a Hard Time With My Boyfriend Crossdressing

8 Comments

Dear Gabi,

I have been having a really hard time adjusting to my boyfriend crossdressing. He told me when we had been together for two months. It has been a year since he told me and I am still adjusting. Is it normal to adjust so slowly? I guess I feel that I’m not in a normal relationship, and I feel like I am not the only girl in the relationship at times. He is very manly all other times and I love him so much. We live together and he is amazing.

My Problem lately has been that I feel I am taking pictures for everyone on the internet to see. He posts them almost immediately after I take them. He says that he feels sexy when people comment them. Another thing is that I want to dress up in sexy outfits too, but he never asks me to.
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Dear Gabi Advice Column

How Does One Go From Crossdresser to Transsexual?

17 Comments

Birth and Rebirth

In June of this year, I published a letter written to me by Anna, along with my response. Her boyfriend, Matt, was a crossdresser and Anna expressed her many questions about the topic. If you’ve got some time, I recommend you read the original post before continuing here. This is a follow-up about Anna and her crossdressing boyfriend, Matt… who turned out to be more than just a crossdresser.
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