Do you think it’s more important to “dress age appropriate”, regardless? Or to dress appropriate to your body type and personal style? Check out my take on “dressing age appropriate” in this short 90-second video.
Most of us have to dress a certain way for career purposes, or appropriate to specific activities, and that’s not the question being asked. This is about social policing people based solely on their age, and the expectation that people of a certain age should dress a certain way, because of what decade in life they’re at, period.
What’s your take on things? Should we be consulting some kind of “style-by-number reference guide”, based on age?
The back-story topic inspiration is below this 60-second Instagram version of the video, included because I think it’s more effective than the original 90-second version.
After a public talk I gave last year, I received an email from a Sally (not her real name) who was in attendance. In her own words:
“I was kind of shocked, however, to learn that you are in your late 40’s and still dressing the hip 20’s look…”
“Yes, it gets you noticed … but I think if they saw a classy up-to-date dressing person but more age appropriate it might make them say, ‘Wow, I have to pay attention to this person…I had no idea that they are a trans!’ They might pay more attention to your message…”
The main point here is that I looked good until I revealed my age, at which time the “shock” occurred.
In all fairness to Sally, I’m grateful for her thoughtful words, offered sincerely as helpful guidance. She reached out to me, after hearing my personal story and learning the many social, political, and financial challenges of being transgender in a world that mostly doesn’t understand what being transgender means. Sally gave what she felt was supportive insight and advice.
Although I very much disagree with the (likely subconscious on her part) message that one should dress a certain way because of their age, period, and that “classy” is an objective state, rather than subjective opinion, I do appreciate her reaching out to me and believe her intent to be that of kindness. At an estimated 10-20 years my senior, it’s understandable that the social expectation of dressing one way or another, “says something about you”, other than, “This is my style and I simply like the way I look.”
Social policing based on personal style and clothing choices is far from going away, but I do think it’s far more ingrained in the minds of older individuals. For the record, I consider myself an “older individual” at the age of 47 as of writing this, but “older” isn’t a pejorative in my book. It’s just an age, and I make “older” ROCK! But I digress…
So what are your thoughts about “dressing age appropriate”? Is it more about the number of times we’ve orbited around the sun? Or more about rocking looks and styles that make us feel good about ourselves, and are arguably flattering to our body type?
Have you been policed about how you dress because of your age? Please chime in and share your thoughts and/or personal experiences. I’d love to hear your opinion – agree, disagree, or somewhere in-between.
Let’s talk about it! :)
Namaste
Gabi Talks – Dressing Age Appropriate (1-minute vid)Do you think it's more important to "dress age appropriate", regardless, or to dress appropriate to your body type and personal style?Most of us have to dress a certain way for career purposes, or appropriate to specific activities, and that's not the question here. This is about social policing people based solely on their #age, and the expectation that people of a certain age should dress a certain way, because of what decade in life they're at, period.After a public talk I gave last year, I received an email from a Sally (not her real name) who was in attendance. In her words:"I was kind of shocked, however, to learn that you are in your late 40's and still dressing the hip 20's look…""Yes, it gets you noticed … but I think if they saw a #classy up-to-date dressing person but more age appropriate it might make them say, 'Wow, I have to pay #attention to this person…I had no idea that they are a #trans!' They might pay more attention to your message…"The main point here is that I looked good **until** I revealed my age, at which time the "problem" occurred.In all fairness to Sally, I'm #grateful for her thoughtful words that were genuinely offered as helpful guidance. She reached out to me, after hearing my personal story and learning the many #social, #political, and financial challenges of being #transgender in a world that mostly doesn't understand what being transgender means. Sally offered what she felt was supportive advice and insight. Although I very much disagree with the (more than likely subconscious on her part) message that one should dress a certain way because of their age, period, and that "classy" is an objective state, rather than subjective #opinion, I do appreciate her reaching out to me and believe her intent to be that of kindness. At an estimated 10-20 years my senior, it's understandable that the social expectation of dressing one way or another, "says something about you", other than, "This is my #style and I simply like the way I look."Social policing based on personal style and #clothing choices is far from going away, but I do think it's far more ingrained in the minds of older individuals. For the record, I consider myself an "older individual" at the age of 47 as of writing this, but "older" isn't a pejorative in my book. It's just an age, and I make "older" ROCK! ? But I digress…So what are your thoughts about "dressing age appropriate"? Is it more about the number of times we've orbited around the sun? Or more about rocking looks and styles that make us feel good about ourselves, and are arguably #flattering to our body type?Have you been policed about how you dress because of your age? Please chime in and share your thoughts and/or personal experiences. I'd love to hear your #opinion – agree, disagree, or somewhere in-between.Let's talk about it! ???#AgeAppropriate #SocialPolicing #lgbt #lgbtq #judgement #conformity #attire
Posted by Gabrielle Hermosa on Friday, April 6, 2018
I love it Gabi! I am late 40’s too and have taken care of myself over the years. I love to dress a little provocatively, because I can, and it looks good. I feel great, and so should you, and any trans-girl that is comfortable doing so. You are the best, sister!
Thanks for chiming in, Allie! :) Totally with ya! Rock the styles and looks that make you feel good about yourself, and make no apologies for it. In regard to business appearances (in my case – as a public speaker), some looks may be more effective than others, depending on the audience, and that’s always a mixed bag. But that’s more about finding ways to create relatibility with the target audience and less about age… except for when the target audience is old school, and that’s kind of a different conversation for another time.
Here’s to less judgement and social policing and more people living and expressing themselves authentically.
Hi Gabi, I as well am in my mid 40’s and dress as to how I like short body-con dress and mini skirts skin tight jeans etc etc. I always make sure I plan out my outfits which my wife thinks I put to much into planning , but regardless if we are comfortable in way that we dress then who are we actually hurting. I have had cis women complement me on my looks from time to time when out and say that they wish that they had the courage to wear what I had on at the time, and some that say that your still young and can get away with it to which I have replied “I’m in my mid 40’s” and they are in complete shock that I look so good. Age is only a state of mind and though I do have what is or consider to be age appropriate. I have a very diverse wardrobe from fitness to classy (not 1950’s and 50 yrs old more today and eye turning) and a lot in between, I do dress a slight different or more to the event or place I’m going but still not what some would consider my age. I thinking that some think just because you reach a certain age that you have to get the floor length dresses out (I do love a good maxi dress and skirt) along with blouses that have ruffles and button up all the way to the neck paired with a skirt that hits mid calf talk about the 50’s not for me. I also believe though that some are jelous of some of what and how we may dress.
Sincerely Brie
Thanks for sharing, Brie! :) Sounds like you’re doing it right – dressing as you’re comfortable and rocking styles that are flattering. I think there *are* boundaries and looks that can be problematic, in regard to what’s worn, and the context, but that’s not age related. Age should be reserved for the number of candles put on a birthday cake and not tied to expectations of appearance, style, or personal expression. Remove clothing from the mix, and people will very different, even when they’re the same age. Some may look older, younger, more fit, less fit, etc. If you can rock a style and pull it off, then go for it! When we look good, we feel good, and feeling good always contributes to looking good and operating in a vibe that will be more attractive to people (as in desirable, likable, not just physically attractive). Thank you for having the courage to be you, and having fun with your look and style, regardless of the “age police”! <3
I think age is less a factor in what to wear and body type and environment are more pertinent. I am 53 and if I am going out to the club or bar and I want to dance with the girl friends or entice a possible mate, its stiletto platform heels, a BeBe mini body con dress, big hoop ear rings moderate glamour makeup and my best perfume and jewelry. If I am running out to Target or to get a bite to eat or something Its jeans, stretch pants, a denim skirt and a tank top, or cute sweater or cutout out shoulder top or something like that, and minimal makeup and accessories. I try to blend in somewhat in public, but when its party time, bust out the glam sisters!
That’s fantastic, Leeza! :) Sounds like a methodology that is sensible and works well for you. Thanks for chiming in!