Happy Halloween 2009 (a day early) from your friendly neighborhood crossdressing Vampiress. Hey rides, bobbing for apples, haunted houses, costume parties, and trick-or-treating will be among the activities enjoyed by folks on this candy-filled holiday.
Halloween is often regarded as the “crossdresser’s holiday”. On this single day of the year, it is generally socially acceptable to venture out into public en femme without being ridiculed, harassed, or facing harm (from haters). Because a man dressing up as a woman is regarded as a simple “costume” rather than a social deviation, the rules are changed, if only for a short time.
In years past, I remember some of my male friends dressing up as women on Halloween. Their costumes consisted of ridiculous looking dresses, mismatched jewelry, a bad wig, over sized breasts, and absurd makeup (applied almost clown-like). I observed similar displays at various costume parties. In addition, the men behaved very much like men with only occasional feminine behaviors displayed, and usually highly exaggerated for comical purposes.
I am not a costume
Although many of my crossdressing sisters will be going to Halloween related events as their fem-selves, I will not be. The idea of “Gabrielle” being some kind of costume or sight gag is insulting. Wearing a women’s costume however, would be a very different story. A women’s Star Trek dress uniform was on my mind for Halloween this year. The uniform itself and presentation as a Starfleet officer would be the costume. Being en femme (Gabrielle) would not be a part of the costume, but rather my gender expression, or simply put – me, as in the one wearing the costume.
Poor planning
So why do you see a photo of Vamriress Gabrielle rather than Yeoman Gabrielle? The costume shown to the right here is only available online (or I could only find it online). Is I’ve said before, nothing I order online ever seems to fit. I’m rather tall (for a woman) and it would probably end up fitting more like a shirt, than a dress. Most Halloween costumes are not returnable, or involve penalty restocking fees. Because no specific measurements are offered for such an item (just small, medium, etc.), I didn’t bother. Mrs. H. and I checked out a couple of local costume stores, but they didn’t have anything comparable. Had I started my search sooner and put a little more effort into it, things may have turned out better. As friends suggested, I might have made my own… or have Mrs. H. make one for me (I can’t sew). It was poor planning on my part. As usual, time elapsed rather quickly and somehow summer morphed into October while my mind was preoccupied with other things. Perhaps next year. Truth be told, if I happened across a women’s Star Trek uniform (that fit right), I’d buy it any time. I’m a big Star Trek nerd and would love to have one just to geek out en femme, not to mention all the fun that could be had with Trek-style photos and imagery.
I’ll be en femme, but not because of Halloween
Saturday, I will be done up as Gabrielle… but only at home. Simply put, the opportunity to spend some time as Gabrielle will be present. After a long, busy week stuck in guy-mode, Gabrielle needs some time to relax and unwind. It has nothing to do with Halloween. As stated, I am not a costume and will not present myself as such. My wife suggested I “be Gabrielle” for Halloween (as in “Gabrielle” would be the costume), but I explained to her why I would only be Gabrielle for Halloween if Gabrielle had a costume to wear… which this year, she does not. The vamp-photo is just a manipulated image – I won’t appear like that on Halloween… only in the haunted digital world of the computer. Nothing worse than a byte from a digital vampiress. lol Sorry, geek humor.
Why pass up a rare opportunity to move about freely en femme?
I’ve explained why it’s not for me. Best wishes to my trans-sisters who will venture out en femme (as a costume). If you can enjoy yourself as such, then by all means, go for it. :) I’d rather see (tg) people go out for Halloween in an actual female costume of some kind rather than just en femme (as in just presenting as female in appearance), but to each her own and I respect the personal choices of others.
If I had a women’s costume to wear, I probably still wouldn’t be going out this year. I’m not much of a party-goer these days. The last time I went out to a Halloween themed event was 16 years ago. Back when I used to have more time on my hands, Halloween was a big deal to me and I’d invest much time and money into a convincing costume presentation.
Sexy = bad, but sexy Halloween costumes = good?
Ever notice how most adult women’s Halloween costumes are very sexy? Don’t take my word for it, check out this Google image search on “vampiress costume”. Perhaps a better example is this image search on a “nurse costume”. Some may call it “slutty”, but that’s usually just a sentiment expressed other women out of jealousy. Slutty is a behavior, not a look or appearance. Our sexually repressed society (mainly American) just loves to chastise women who happen to show just a little “too much” skin, or sex appeal in their appearance. Oh God forbid!
De-evolution of self-expression
It is interesting that on Halloween, it’s socially acceptable for women to express themselves in a very sexy appearance, so long as it is just a costume. Some may justify it as just “fantasy play”, which is considered to be ok on Halloween. My question is why is it only ok to be sexy in “fantasy” and not in reality? In the late 80’s and early 90’s it was fairly common for women to express themselves in a variety of sexy styles in public and at work. I loved every minute of it and miss those days immensely.
My personal feminine style is fairly sexy in presentation. Short skirts and dresses are my favorite. I love wearing them, and I’ve got the body to pull off the look. Please do not mistake my words for bragging – I pay my dues with hours of exercise every day. For me, miniskirts and short dresses are the ultimate show of feminine expression. Unfortunately, they’re also considered “too sexy” by much of society… except for on Halloween. That irritates the hell out of me.
Let’s not loose focus
Enough of my indulgence into some matters of a more serious nature that occupy my mind this Halloween. I appreciate your taking the time to read while I explored some interesting issues and would love to hear your thoughts on them. Halloween is supposed to be fun and it’s time to get back to that aspect of it.
A nightmare on my street
In 1993, I attended a costume contest at a sports bar. It was the last time I went out anywhere in costume for Halloween. There were some very cool contestants there, in a variety of creative forms. I received quite a bit of attention from people that dark and spooky evening. I went as the dream demon himself: Freddy Krueger. Rather than wear a simple (and fake looking) mask, I spent weeks meticulously preparing custom made latex facial appliances to simulate the disfigured, burned/melted look of Freddy’s face. It took about 3 hours just to apply it all properly, and was very hot and uncomfortable to wear. The judges thought my costume was not “original” and I won no prizes. Oh well. I collected their souls anyway. heh heh heh :P For those who are curious, I offer a photo (the background has been altered, but the rest is all me). I was a little heavier, my nails were very long and razor sharp and my hair was very, very short (heehee). My man-side as Freddy Krueger. I kid you not, that really is me under all that rubber, paint, and striped sweater. I believe I’ve mentioned before my fascination with slasher and horror movies.
What are your Halloween plans?
I want to know how many of you will be en femme this Halloween and whether or not your feminine Halloween costume is just you en femme, or does it include an actual female costume? I’m sure many of you will be in guy-mode this Halloween as well. What costume will you be wearing, regardless of gender expressed? Will you be going out, or just handing out candy to trick-or-treaters? Tell Vampiress Gabrielle all about it. :)
If you have Party City in your area I have seen the Star Trek outfits there. And there you can try them on. Take Mrs. H and she can try on Kirk or someone. Or you can at least take it out of the bag and eyeball the fit.
BTW I agree with you on the “being Gabrielle”. I have dressed en femme as femme characters. In that sense I see it as a crossdressers holiday. I have been outside as Erin (never interacting or even being seen as far as I know), but that is who I am, not a costume. My favorite character is a campy “good witch”. But I have done other femme characters for Halloween, but never a simple “look at me I look gooood as a girl!”
This year I am going out as a evil sorcerer. The scare the heck out of the kiddies (and some adults too. It creeps out my wife *grins*) will be more my reward this year.
Lady Gabrielle,
TOTALLY AWESOME PHOTO! Don’t know how you did that but it is SO COOL!
I defiantly sit on your side of the fence on the issue of not going out as myself for costume purposes. For me it cheapens the fact that I live full time & everything it took to get to that point. Maybe that has something to do with the difference between fetish and actual gender identity.
In the 80’s & 90’s I was a very serious competitive bodybuilder and the fitness craze was raging in this country. With more than 70% of Americans over weight or obese, I fear those days are over. The reason I think the slutty issue comes up now days is so few people feel really good about how they look. As a result the jealousy gets the best of them and they rag on others to make themselves feel better. Back in the day I remember skin every where.
For me there is nothing greater than the opportunity to get out and show some skin. The 4 plus hours of training per day is motivation to create a smoking hot outfit. I’m doing a barbarian warrior queen this year. My wife and I design a lot of our clothes and sew. I’ve been working like a beaver on the damn this year and we are hitting the party at an awesome local joint called The Mix.
Hope your family has a great Halloween,
Nikki
P.S. Black is awesome! Hot Topics kicks ass! And your look rocks! I realize pictures can be manipulated but the look you present on this site is freak’n awesome! Please don’t stop!
Bloody hell! That’s a top Freddie costume. You were robbed! :)
@ Erin P – Thanks for the input on the Trek costume. :) Glad you feel similar about your femme-self not being a costume, but rather who you are, period. I’m sure the evil sorcerer will be (or was) a big hit with the kids this year!
@ Nikki – Glad you enjoyed the photo of Vampiress Gabrielle. :) Aside from that image (which was heavily altered), the photos of me on this site have only minimal manipulation (when it comes to my image itself), generally just blemish fixes and color correction. I purposely do not do any heavy alterations on my image because then I feel like I’m cheating. I’d rather look good as me and not just some digital fantasy of what I wish I could look like. :)
@ Lynn – Damn right I was robbed! “Not very original”… what about FRICKIN’ AWESOME and AMAZINGLY WELL implemented? Oh well.
I agree on the costume issue and would not use myself as a costume…Erin is not a costume, but Erin wearing a costume is quite OK and that’s exactly what I did last night. I went as a witch with green and black striped tights and a matching “witchy” hat, both borrowed from my wonderful GF.
As to the Star Trek uniform, I too have been planning that for some time and even thought of trying it this year (time didn’t work out for me either). I go to the occasional SciFi convention in the hopes of finding a pattern. I don’t think I could use an “off the shelf” item, without heavily modifying it and if I’m going to that much trouble, I might as well make it myself (need to learn to sew well first). I will let you know if I find something though.
By the way, part of my work involves things such as what you did for your Freddy costume…you did a GREAT job and I agree that you were robbed.
Thanks,
Erin K.
Erin… and Gabi. I found a couple of sites that sell patterns. You might be able to order some from local fabric stores as well. But it might be a lot of leafing through catalogs.
http://www.roddenberry.com/wardrobe/patterns?p=1
http://www.xscapesprops.com/Star_Trek_Props_Page3.htm
Both sites have there strengths from browsing them quickly. From one crossdressing Trekkie to others I wish you good fortune with your endeavors if you choose to take on the task.
BTW I freaked out all sorts of children and adults with my evil sorcerer.
@ Erin K – I’m glad you also see your femme-self as not a costume. :) I think the Star Trek TOS female uniform is a popular choice among t-girls… who also happen to be T-Trekkies. :) Thanks for your compliment on the Freddy makeup. :) I miss the days when I had time for things like that.
@ Erin P – Cool find on the Star Trek patterns! :) I’ll have my ST female dress uniform before my days are through. I prefer an actual dress even though the TOS costumes were really scants (what a strange word!). Glad you were able to give the kids a good scare with your evil sorcerer costume! :)
Gabrielle…you are very welcome. The work was really good and you deserve the credit for it (and SHOULD have won too). As to time for things like that, I understand. I do some of it for a living so I see it frequently, what I don’t have is time for things like that at home. My GF and I went to a “sort of” party the night before Halloween and I spent two late evenings beforehand working on a mask…I think I wore it for a total of 30 seconds. There’s hindsight for you.
Erin P…thank you for the links, I have them bookmarked now and will definitely check them out. I’ve been planning it for sometime and like Gabrielle, I’ll have mine at some point. Now that I know where to find the patterns, it might be sooner than I thought.
Well I’m late to the post. And as it turns out, my Halloween plans went all pear-shaped, although in retrospect it was not very surprising. SOther & myself (& kids) had an invitation to a “not-really-halloween” party. Well for various reasons herself and I traveled separately to the event and once I arrived, she took major exception to my mode of dress. It ended with me being on the receiving end of some of the nastiest name-calling I have received since grade school.
Now I was not in drag. In fact I only had one femme detail in a dark purple satin tunic that I wore as my skin layer with a black long-sleeved shirt on top. I’ve worn this same combination to work and out for drinks in a professional setting enough to know that it is barely noticeable – the only looks I ever get are from people who seem especially observant, and I’ve never encountered an adverse reaction. But it appears to have enraged her. *sigh*
Why do we have to play these kind of games? Of course the real problem is that it is still rattling around in my head. Personally, I would be happy enough to find a middle ground that honors the body I was born with and the semantics with which I would approach the world, but it seems that is simply not allowed in western society.
Good to see you back in business, though :)
– dayita
No worries about chiming in “late”, Dayita. :) I’ve never been on time for anything in my life. lol I’m very sorry to hear about the terrible reaction you received for such a subtle and barely noticeable hint of self-expression. I understand that your relationship with your SO and kids is important to you and that certain aspects of your life don’t fit very well within that.
In answer to “why do we have to play these kind of games”, the answer is no news to you. Just as a black person would get flack for venturing into a white neighborhood in the 1950’s SIMPLY for being the wrong race, so today do most of us (tg) face the same discrimination and hatred from those who are not like us. It really stinks, but it will be something that future generations look back on with surprise – the very thought of treating people poorly for their gender expression will be just as absurd as treating someone poorly because of race today.
As I do with everyone, I encourage you to be yourself; to allow yourself to be yourself. We must all wear masks at times in our lives. Do not forget who you are, though. Until society changes, find ways to be who you are and as you would choose to be. Better yet, find ways to help bring about the change in society. We’re not exactly sparse in numbers. ;)
Vampiress Gabrielle wishes you a MUCH better experience for next Halloween, and a much happier life in the meantime. :)
I’m with you. The halloween costume has to be in addition to the female form. I’m not sure why it is, for me, I think it started out as a way to avoid coming out or presenting an image that might be recognized later… When I went out for halloween this year, I did not feel much connection to my CDing. I wore a wedding dress and zombie makeup, but it felt like a costume. It was actually fun… I was not concerned about passing as female even though there were a couple incidents, but it wasn’t my goal.
The most frustrating part about this year…I’m getting older, alcohol is not such an enjoyable thing anymore and the party atmosphere has faded big time… people don’t know how to enjoy life anymore. It was hard to find a good party.
I bet you made a cool looking “zombie bride”, Sally. :) I wonder if you didn’t feel the right connection because the costume, as a whole, was simply not your preferred feminine style. Just a guess, anyway. It sounds like you still had fun through, and that’s all that really matters.
The getting older thing is a problem for me as well – on many fronts (cd-related and non). I understand your sentiments on that aspect. I take it you did eventually happen across a good party and enjoyed the festivities. :)
Well, unfortunately my Halloween costume was… Me flaked out on the sofa after spending the day trying to get the spare room available for my folks arriving the next day :)
Great work on the photo, and truely awesome work on the freddy costume. You were very definately robbed!
Thanks for the imagery and costume compliments, Stacy. :) Sorry your Halloween wasn’t very festive, but I hope you enjoyed a good visit with your folks.