All posts by Gabrielle

I'm a public speaker, writer, mentor, counselor, human rights advocate and proud transgender woman.

Crossdressing Myth #7: It’s Just a Sexual Fetish

crossdressing myths

There seems to be no shortage of people who think crossdressing is nothing more than a sexual fetish. The origins of this myth however, are rooted in reality, at least to some extent. Sadly it’s been blown way out of proportion by people who don’t understand what they’re talking about, and little has been done to fill in the blanks of reality. Please allow me to clarify things for you.

Myth: Crossdressing is just a sexual fetish because crossdressing men are aroused by dressing up and do so for sexual pleasure. Fact: Although crossdressing is a sexual fetish for some, the vast majority of crossdressers do not experience any arousal as a result of crossdressing, nor is it a factor in their desire to do so.

Because this crossdressing myth is of a sexual nature, it is necessary to discuss some aspects of sex and masturbation. Although I will do so tactfully and on an informative level only, if this kind of subject matter is offensive to you, it may be advisable to discontinue reading… and you should probably never consider a career in the medical field. ;) If it is the truth you seek however, read on. Sex and masturbation are simple facts of life, just like eating, sleeping, and exercising. It is society that chooses (and teaches us) to make some topics taboo and others acceptable discussion material.
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“Dear Gabi” Advice Column

Gabrielle HermosaFor some time now, I’ve pondered the idea of offering an advice column. Not about fashion or makeup tips, but rather for crossdressers and their loved ones who are dealing with confusing feelings and would like some guidance on the mental health front.

Most of my life has been spent analyzing and trying to figure out what this all means. Confusion, guilt, low self-esteem and depression used to be the status quo for me. It’s been a long, difficult journey to self-acceptance and inner-peace, one that I almost didn’t survive, but I made it and learned a wealth of knowledge along the way.

This website was started with the intent to educate people about the realities of crossdressing and dispel the negative cliches and myths. I try also to offer insight and guidance for crossdressers who are dealing with their own issues and generally don’t feel good about themselves because of this aspect of their lives. Publishing an advice column seems the next logical step. It will allow the opportunity for an additional level interaction and communication with visitors.

A Dear Gabi link has been added to the navigation bar up at the top. Questions can be submitted using the form on that page. The content of the submission page may go through updates as things get ironed out, but it’s a good starting point. I encourage you to take a look.
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Nothing Ever Seems to Fit

clothes returned

Yesterday my latest package of mail-order clothing arrived. After arriving home from a long day at work, I quickly got out of my man-clothes and tried everything on. One garment at a time, my disappointment grew as I discovered nothing fit me. My lovely wife, on the other hand, ended up with a new elegant yet sexy little black dress and attractive bell sleeve top. She looks mighty fine in them, too, I must say. Finding female clothing items in my style and in my size often seems like a cruel exercise in futility.
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Aroused by Her Own Sexy Reflection in the Mirror

wife looking in mirror

The photo you see above is of my wife, the fabulous Mrs. H. If you’re new to this site, she’s a genetic woman, not a crossdresser (like me). Although she agreed to pose for the photograph, it is not uncommon to find her admiring the beauty she sees in her own reflection in the mirror. This is especially true when she’s wearing something sexy.

What does this have to do with anything? When it comes to the misconceptions about crossdressers by mainstream society, a lot, really. Please note that sex and masturbation will be brought up in this article to some extent – not in a gratuitous way, but rather informational and as a matter of fact. You may want to stop reading now if informational sexual content is offensive to you. In saying that, I can’t help but wonder if people also skipped out on sex education in school because that also dealt with matters of sex and (gasp) masturbation.
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Warehouse 13

Warehouse 13

Government agents Myka Bering and Peter Lattimer have been recruited by the mysterious Mrs. Frederick to retrieve objects with supernatural powers and deliver them to the enormous Warehouse 13 facility for safe keeping. The quirky yet wise Artie Nielsen is in charge of the warehouse and offers insight and guidance to Bering and Lattimer each week as they seek out and gather dangerous, trouble-causing objects.

We’re about 3 episodes into this new TV show on SyFy. Have you been watching it, too?
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Guest on “Closet Talk” Tonight: Gabrielle Hermosa

Closet Talk with jaysaysTonight I’ll be the guest on the talk show Closet Talk, hosted by Jay of jaysays.com. How I came out (of the closet) to my wife, popular crossdressing myths, and the psychology involved in being a crossdresser will be among the discussion topics covered. The show’s air time and link are listed further down.

The show
Closet Talk is a show that interviews LGBT people and their families to discuss life before and after the closet, the effects of coming out (for better or worse) and what those considering “coming out” can expect. Everyone’s story is different. Interviewees provide insight into their lives and the struggles with sexuality, religion and family. It airs every Wednesday.
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Crossdressing Myth #6: It’s a Purely Selfish Act

crossdressing myths

This myth is fairly common among (unaccepting) loved ones of crossdressers and subsequently many crossdressers themselves. In online transgendered communities, countless times crossdressers have expressed guilt about being themselves sighting this exact myth as the source of their guilty feelings.

Myth: Crossdressing is a purely selfish act and the time spent crossdressing could be better spent doing more productive things. Fact: Crossdressig is no more selfish than time spent reading a good book, watching TV/movies, exploring a personal hobby, or any other activity of personal interest.

We’ll start out by examining the meaning of the word “selfish” and then get into why there is little merit to this myth.
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