All posts by Gabrielle

I'm a public speaker, writer, mentor, counselor, human rights advocate and proud transgender woman.
humor, sci-fi, transgender

Trans Sci-Fi Geek Humor In Vader

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Gabrielle and Darth Vader

A few days ago, while hanging out with some trans friends of mine at a local coffee shop, I got into some rather geeky sci-fi conversation. It’s really awesome to not only have a growing number of trans friends, but also (at least one) rather geeky friend: a trans woman who can actually speak some Klingon!

I don’t usually do impressions, but…
Star Wars and Darth Vader came up during the conversation. Jumping on an opportunity to get a chuckle, I did a quick impression of Darth Vader saying a line from Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back. In my best Darth Vader voice I said, “Obi-Wan never told you the truth about your faatherrrr.”

Everyone within an earshot stopped talking and looked at me with wide eyes as their jaws dropped. Whoa! Awkward silent moment!
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LGBTQ, outreach, public talks, transgender

First Time Talking LGBTQ Education in Front of a Live Audience

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Gabrielle, Dec. 12, 2013In late November, I attended a 2-day SpeakOUT Workshop to learn how to be an effective public speaker. It was just the first step in my ongoing training. Last week, I was given an opportunity to put my training to use for the first time.

An opportunity
Jeanne Gainsburg, a straight alley, Outreach Coordinator and Education Director at the GAGV, asked if I would be willing to assist with a 2 hour SafeZone presentation for the staff of a local halfway house. Delighted and honored, I agreed to help out.

The GAGV SafeZone program was created to “develop, enhance and maintain environments in workplaces, schools and other social settings that are culturally competent and supportive to LGBTQ individuals, as well as straight identified people who care about diversity, equality and inclusion.” Providing real-life perspective with the “T” end of things (transgender), was myself and a trans man I’ll refer to as “Brad” (not his real name). We took turns telling our personal life-stories and struggles involved growing up trans in a non-trans-friendly world. Even though I only met Brad for the first time just minutes before the presentation started, we made a rather effective tag-team during the Q & A portion.

Most of the presentation was handled by Jeanne. She did an excellent job presenting information, including the audience in group participatory learning activities, keeping things moving along at a good pace, and answering questions along the way. She’s been at this for 10 years and I enjoyed observing her in action while taking mental notes to learn from.

An interesting observation
While Jeanne was giving the main presentation, I stood several feet over to her right, visible to the halfway house staff. My focus shifted back and forth from observing Jeanne’s presentation and observing the counseling staff, curious to see what I could read from their facial expressions, in regard to how engaged or not engaged they were. My eyes met with many of the staff members as I scanned the room. Interestingly, they quickly looked away, breaking eye-contact.
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daily life, LGBTQ, outreach, transgender

Getting Out and Speaking Out

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SpeakOut Certification

On Saturday, I completed a 2-day SpeakOUT training workshop. SpeakOUT is a program offered by The Gay Alliance of the Genesee Valley. Its purpose is to improve the skills of graduates so they may effectively educate about gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender people and their allies.

The need to “speak out” in outreach programs
The reason I chose to take this workshop is because I feel a calling to get out and educate people about the realities of being transgender. There are many complex issues to cover, but perhaps the most significant point is a very simple one – the fact that trans people are far more similar to cisgender (non-trans) people, than we are different.

The SpeakOUT workshop was just the first step in many training workshops and activities I will need to take part in before a final graduation of sorts. If/when I pass the requirements necessary, I may be deployed to various organizations, companies, medical training centers, schools, etc. to tell my personal story, educate about trans realities, and answer questions.

It’s hard to explain, but I almost have a need to get out there and educate about trans realities and issues. This has been brewing within me for quite some time – especially after certain personal realities were realized.

The desire to go full time
My life is very busy and often rather hectic. There are never enough hours in the day to manage everything I need to do, let alone things I want to do. Many interesting things have been playing out in my life that haven’t been shared here due to lack of time. One of which is the realization that I’m more of a trans-woman-in-progress, than a crossdresser. These days, I only feel like I’m “crossdressing” when I’m at work (or wherever) putting on my “man act” to appease a world that expects me to be “a man”. I posted a very brief update this past July, to one of my more rushed writing jobs, that offers a little insight: Crossdressing Myth #2. There’s much I could write about this, and why it took so long to figure out. If time allows, I will elaborate in future updates.

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transgender

Our Different Journey – Transgender Realization Stories

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Our Different Journey

The word “transgender” encompasses a very wide variety of gender variants that don’t conform to “social gender norms” based on one’s reproductive organs.

Many of us (trans folk) realized at an early age that we identified, at least in part, with the gender typically associated with the opposite sex, and grew up thinking that we were the only one who felt like this. We experienced confusion, struggles, fear, pain, and many of us eventually learned to accept being trans, and find much joy in it.

There are some general commonalities among trans folk, however there are also plenty of differences – from how we started out to where we are today, and everything in-between. Transgender people are as varied and different as non-trans people.

I’d like to bring awareness to a website dedicated to archiving and sharing the personal journeys of transgender people: Our Different Journey. This site is the brainchild of Lynn Jones, author of the long-running and frequently updated Yet Another T-girl Blog.

There are 16 unique, personal stories shared on the site as I write this. Among the journeys shared, you will find entries made by the founder herself: Lynn Jones, Petra Bellejambes (of “Voyages en Rose“), and my own recently shared experience: Gabrielle Hermosa.
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daily life, transgender

Being in Public and Stepping Outside My Comfort Zone

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GabrielleIt’s been a while since my previous post, which also happened to be about venturing out into public. Much has been going on in my life, including a rather important self-realization (which I’ll write more about another time).

A brief update to now
Since August of this year (2013), I’ve been going out in public (as myself, “Gabrielle”) about once a week. This includes meeting up with other transgender people for formal group activities, and also spending time at transgender-friendly businesses/locations on my own or with some friends.

It’s been inmensiely gratifying – meeting other local transgender people, making friends, sharing experiences, getting to know each other, and just plain being out in the world as my true self. I’ve been mostly sticking to transgender-friendly locations, though – at least when I venture out alone. It felt time to grow and step outside my comfort zone again.

Time to take some important baby steps
This past Saturday, I went to a local liquor store to purchase some beverages. It’s part of a busy shopping plaza and I had been there before in guy-mode.

After making my selections, I headed to the front desk to check out. The cashier, Sam (not his real name), asked for ID. It’s been a long time since I’ve been asked for proof of age when purchasing alcoholic beverages. In fact, I believe the last time was last century!
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crossdressing, crossdressing in public

Crossdressing in Public Can Be a Real Drag

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Big Wigs - Cher and Tina Turner (Aggy Dune and Kasha Davis)

Where can one find a safe, inviting environment to crossdress in public, enjoy a good dinner and be treated to some top notch entertainment all in one? At a Big Wigs show, of course!

My wife, and I attended a performance by the Big Wigs themselves, drag queens Aggy Dune and Kasha Davis. It was our first time out to a drag show. In a nutshell, we both became instant fans of Big Wigs Aggy and Kasha! Check out their website for upcoming performances. You won’t be disappointed!

What was it like being the only part time tgirl at the party house for dinner and during the show? Did I get read? How did people react to me? What was my wardrobe malfunction? Which bathroom did I use? Is it really safe to crossdress in public, even at a drag show?

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Dear Gabi Advice Column

Dear Gabi, I’m a Crossdresser and Don’t Understand Myself

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Dear Gabi,

My name is Casey. I’m an 18 year old male who enjoys cross dressing but is very secretive about it. I am straight. I have not told many people, and don’t get an opportunity to do it as often as I like. I have a lot of questions and stuff to get off my chest.

I have only come out to four people. I came out to my parents when I was in the sixth grade, because I was going through puberty and didn’t understand my brain. They were both fine with it and didn’t love me any less. However I think as far as they’re concerned I’ve stopped cross dressing. We haven’t talked about it since. I shouldn’t have a problem with it because they are two of the most loving, liberal, open minded people I know and every day I’m grateful that they’re my parents.

I openly describe myself to people as flamboyant, and when I say it, I say it proudly. I am proud that I do all the no-no’s of being a manly man. I love my girly side, I just wish I could express it more. I suppose I get along better with girls (except for my best friend in the world who is a guy) and the ones I am friends with are open and loving. My two friends here at college would probably be fine with knowing I’m a cross dresser but I freeze whenever I even think about telling them. I’ve told two other people besides my parents. Purely by coincidence they were both girls who were struggling with their sexuality. One of them is now my best friend on campus, and we talk about the subject all the time.
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