Category Archives: crossdressing

crossdressing, crossdressing myths, rants

Crossdressing Myth #8: Crossdressing is a Choice

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crossdressing myths

Plenty of (non-crossdressing) people seem to believe that crossdressing is nothing more than a personal choice. They think that for whatever reason, some guys just decide to go against the grain of society and wear women’s clothing and makeup. Maybe they also believe that we enjoy the ridicule and rejection we often face as a result of our “choice”.

Myth: A crossdresser chooses to dress in women’s clothes, doesn’t need to, and can also choose to stop. Fact: Crossdressing is a very necessary outlet for feminine self-expression in some men. It is no more a choice than choosing to be left-handed or right-handed.

It’s difficult to find a good analogy that will properly illustrate the inaccuracy of this crossdressing myth. There are many comparisons that can be made, but few carry enough weight to suitably convey the reality. Because most (non-crossdressing) people are accepted in society as they are, it is nearly impossible to explain the fundamental need for self-expression and the devastating negative emotional and psychological consequences one can suffer when deprived of their ability to do so.
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crossdressing, rants

The Cost of a Bad Makeup Day

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bad day

Getting all done up in full makeup is a pretty big investment on two fronts, or so it is for me. Makeup isn’t cheap, and it takes a lot of makeup to transform Gabe’s rugged man-face into the soft and feminine face of Gabrielle. It also requires significant time to get all that makeup properly spackled on and detailed just right. Therefore I have to plan ahead, making sure that I have enough makeup on hand and a window of opportunity available in my busy life.

Unlike many genetic women, applying makeup isn’t something I get to practice on a daily basis. Sometimes it doesn’t quite turn out right and there’s a price to pay.
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crossdressing, Dear Gabi Advice Column, mental health

Dear Gabi, I Do Not Understand Crossdressing

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Dear Gabi,

I did not nor do I now understand crossdressing. I was raised very religiously and naive as to what the world’s about. When I met my husband, 30 years younger than me, his mom would say that once we got together his bisexuality and crossdressing would not be there, but to my horror it was an every day thing and that he wanted to be a girl.

I’ve tried for all these years to deal with it give him some of my clothes, watch porn, deal with him chatting with his gay and crossdressing friends that don’t understand where I’m coming from. I’m severely depressed and this has only driven me farther and farther into it. I had problems before but this has escalated it.
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crossdressing, Dear Gabi Advice Column, mental health

Dear Gabi, Am I Wrong Wanting to be Who I Feel I Am?

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Debbie DanielsDear Gabi,

I have been dressing since my early youth… 5, again at 8 and again at 12 and pretty much weekly after that I am 51 years old and married with one 5 year old child at home. I only wear panties here at home for that is all I own… no male briefs… nada. My wife knew of my crossdressing before we were married and accepted me. My problem now is that I can not dress any longer at home because of our child, so I take it elsewhere. Mainly to a gay friends house . I am hetero and my friend hits on me all the time as Debbie but never as Dave. For the past 3 – 4 years my dressing en femme has become very aggressive, and honestly that is all I want to do. I am at a point right now in that I would like to start hormones and transition to female, for that is who I truly feel inside. Dave has only been there out of fear, and to take care of his family. I actually get very depressed if Debbie does not get to play and even am Bitchy. I feel the urgency more so in my life today than I did years past. What to do? Debbie is who I befriended in my adolescent years and have came to love immensely. Even my family. Sisters, love having Debbie around to go out with and such.
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crossdressing, crossdressing myths, rants

Crossdressing Myth #7: It’s Just a Sexual Fetish

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crossdressing myths

There seems to be no shortage of people who think crossdressing is nothing more than a sexual fetish. The origins of this myth however, are rooted in reality, at least to some extent. Sadly it’s been blown way out of proportion by people who don’t understand what they’re talking about, and little has been done to fill in the blanks of reality. Please allow me to clarify things for you.

Myth: Crossdressing is just a sexual fetish because crossdressing men are aroused by dressing up and do so for sexual pleasure. Fact: Although crossdressing is a sexual fetish for some, the vast majority of crossdressers do not experience any arousal as a result of crossdressing, nor is it a factor in their desire to do so.

Because this crossdressing myth is of a sexual nature, it is necessary to discuss some aspects of sex and masturbation. Although I will do so tactfully and on an informative level only, if this kind of subject matter is offensive to you, it may be advisable to discontinue reading… and you should probably never consider a career in the medical field. ;) If it is the truth you seek however, read on. Sex and masturbation are simple facts of life, just like eating, sleeping, and exercising. It is society that chooses (and teaches us) to make some topics taboo and others acceptable discussion material.
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crossdressing, Dear Gabi Advice Column, mental health, tips and advice, website news

“Dear Gabi” Advice Column

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Gabrielle HermosaFor some time now, I’ve pondered the idea of offering an advice column. Not about fashion or makeup tips, but rather for crossdressers and their loved ones who are dealing with confusing feelings and would like some guidance on the mental health front.

Most of my life has been spent analyzing and trying to figure out what this all means. Confusion, guilt, low self-esteem and depression used to be the status quo for me. It’s been a long, difficult journey to self-acceptance and inner-peace, one that I almost didn’t survive, but I made it and learned a wealth of knowledge along the way.

This website was started with the intent to educate people about the realities of crossdressing and dispel the negative cliches and myths. I try also to offer insight and guidance for crossdressers who are dealing with their own issues and generally don’t feel good about themselves because of this aspect of their lives. Publishing an advice column seems the next logical step. It will allow the opportunity for an additional level interaction and communication with visitors.

A Dear Gabi link has been added to the navigation bar up at the top. Questions can be submitted using the form on that page. The content of the submission page may go through updates as things get ironed out, but it’s a good starting point. I encourage you to take a look.
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crossdressing, daily life, rants

Nothing Ever Seems to Fit

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clothes returned

Yesterday my latest package of mail-order clothing arrived. After arriving home from a long day at work, I quickly got out of my man-clothes and tried everything on. One garment at a time, my disappointment grew as I discovered nothing fit me. My lovely wife, on the other hand, ended up with a new elegant yet sexy little black dress and attractive bell sleeve top. She looks mighty fine in them, too, I must say. Finding female clothing items in my style and in my size often seems like a cruel exercise in futility.
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